Pulse [completed]

[.kiki.]

ainslie
Wait. I'm already there.

Her mind still swirled from the previous night as she jogged around the outskirts of the gymnasium. Her breathing was heavy as she went around corner after corner after corner, her sneakers pounding on the floor. She had wanted to take some extra time to relax, away from other students. Sunday was a good day for that, as most students didn't want to be in their classrooms when they didn't have to. I can't believe I did that. Memories from last night rolled over in her brain, twisting her thoughts to something else. The headache pulsed violently. She had to stop.

Her hands rested on her knees as she panted, trying to catch her breath and make the pulsing stop. It was driving her insane; wait, she was already there. Her eyes closed and she sat heavily, rubbing her eyes and tying her sneakers tighter, a habit of her when she was nervous. Her hands were shaking. What would she say if she saw him again? How would she explain herself? The best bet was to avoid him at all costs. It wasn't worth her own meltdown to be confronted about strange behaviors. She sniffed, pulling her tears of frustration back into her eyes. No crying. Not here. Someone could see.

[;Griffen;]

Alec;
Did I come in at the wrong time?

I walked into the gym, trying my best to focus who's emotions were in there. I was trying to find Ainslie. She's not an easy person to find, you know. What happened last night was just talk. I would forget the kiss if she did. All I knew was that I'm craving for her company. If you've never talked all your life, and suddenly you talk to someone, wouldn't you want to keep that someone?

I looked quickly through the gym, pinpointing the emotions. And there she was, on the floor, panting. Exhaustion was rolling off of her as a dull gray. I made a weird face, but it disappeared quickly. I walked to the center of the gym, facing her. I took out a notepad and a pen and quickly scribbled on it. Hopefully, she could read it from here. I didn't want to get any closer, in case she would wig out. I don't want her running away.

Is this a bad time?

[.kiki.]

ainslie
Oh god. Please just kill me.

I didn't realize he was there at first. My brain didn't register that someone was there until I stood, fixing my shorts, and turned. When my eyes locked onto him, I didn't realize who it was at first. And then my mind went completely blank. I even forgot how to read momentarily. When I remembered, I bit down on my cheeks; blood trickled out of the bites but it didn't bother me. I felt awkward.

A cough escaped me and I tried to ignore him, slowly walking towards the girl's locker room. Limping, really. I had hurt my ankle last night running away from him. I didn't want to upset him. I just felt it would end up being better if we didn't talk anymore. This wasn't a good place to cultivate any sort of relationship. Why should I bother? I'd been fine for seventeen years.

But I stopped anyways. I leaned on the wall some and kicked the ground. My brain swam with ideas of what to do next. I finally just picked one. I turned, keeping my eyes away from him. "Do you need something, Alec?" I wasn't sure he could hear me; my voice was still a far cry from a cheerleader. But it would have to do. I waited for a reply, rubbing my arm in discomfort.

[;Griffen;]

Alec;
Did I come in at the wrong time?

I took her in and I shifted my stance uncomfortably. I looked at the notepad and turned the paper. I looked at her, over the paper. She looked so terrible. I had noticed the limp and emotions were radiating off of her in a fury that I couldn't understand what she was really feeling. It was all so confusing, but I liked it. I like puzzles that make me think. I had to think of all the possibilities.

[/font]

I'm sorry for whatever I did last night to make you like this. Just... Can't we forgive and forget? I'd really like you to be a friend.

I gripped the notebook firmly and slid it over to her. I drew a sad face in the corner of the book. I blinked at her. What happened last night to make her this crazy? Okay, let me rephrase that. What did I do? I closed my eyes and let out a sigh. Can't she just get over it? Girls... I growled bitterly in my head.[/blockquote]

[.kiki.]

ainslie
Oh god. Please just kill me.

Forgive and forget. Forgive what? He didn't do anything. It was all me. I had some form of disease that made me more insane than I was supposed to be. That had to be it. I was sicker than I had been told. I kicked the notepad in frustration. This was ridiculous! Why couldn't I just get over it?! I stalked over to him silently, staring at the floor. That was all he was getting. End of it.

[;Griffen;]

Alec;
Did I come in at the wrong time?

I held in my breath. The notepad was on the other side of the room. I looked at her, frowning. That was not what I expected from her. Why did she do that? What was wrong with her? I mean, if she just told me, maybe this could be solved. Now I felt like kicking the notepad in complete frustration. She was starting to piss me off, but I wasn't going to show that to her. It would only make things worse and I knew it. "Why are you acting like this?" I murmured. "Ainslie. I'm serious." That was the first time I said her name. Not like I'm counting, though.

[.kiki.]

ainslie
Oh god. Please just kill me.

He made it sound like this was some big relationship talk. Did I miss something? I thought we were friends. It sent my head spinning all over again. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say. It was like my head exploded when he opened his mouth. "I don't know what you mean. I'm acting normal." That was a lie, but I wasn't going to tell him that my brain was absolutely swimming in a need to finally get everything out and into the open with someone. I even thought about him last night, and I tried my hardest not to. My hands felt cold and I shivered slightly, staring everywhere but at him.

[;Griffen;]

Alec;
Did I come in at the wrong time?

I narrowed my eyes at her. She was only making things even more difficult. Was this what she was feeling last night when she figured out I was hiding something from her? She probably didn't, because I don't do well when people get irritated, or anything like that. If you haven't noticed, I absorb their emotion. I hate it when I do it, too. I just want to punch a wall right now, but that was highly inappropriate at this moment.

"If this is about the kiss... Ainslie, can't you just forget it? You're the one friend I've ever had. I can't lose the one friend I've ever had in twenty four hours." I was practically pleading with her. I wanted this over so we could continue what was last night. It was only a peck on the cheek! Why were girls for emotional?!

[.kiki.]

`Ainslie;
I think I forgot what normal is.

I listened, trying to think past the jumble of crap that filled my brain. My distress was mounting and I was finding it hard to keep back those tears I was trying to keep back. I just wanted him to shut up so I could think. I tried to ignore it, but it didn't work. "Can you shut up for two seconds?!" I didn't mean to sound harsh. That was the straw the broke the camels back. The tears broke through and rolled down my cheeks. There weren't a lot, but there were enough. I coughed. "Sorry. I just don't...feel very well," I told him. My stomach was doing flips. I didn't want him to be upset with me. I really wanted to keep him. He was the first person I've talked to for twelve years. I sat at his feet, unable to stand anymore, and tugged his pantleg to give the signal that I wanted him to sit with me.

[;Griffen;]

Alec;
What's the matter, Ms. Grumpy Gills?

I looked at her, shocked. She just blew up on me! A small voice in the back of my head kept telling me I didn't need her. I was completely fine without her. It told me that if I kept her, this would only get worse. Well, let's think positive, shall we? She made me smile. One. She made me chuckle. Two. She made me talk. Ten million. I am not giving up on her just like that, I growled to the voice. I felt her tug on my pants and I sat down, crossing my legs Indian style.

I kept my mouth shut. I really wanted to hug her but I was almost certain she wouldn't enjoy the contact. I put my hands in my lap and looked at her. I laced my fingers together. Jeez, why did this have to be so hard? I remember last night I got no sleep from the headache she gave me... You know, the rolling emotions. It was happening again, but I ignored it. My lip was healing already, which was good. I still had that water bottle she gave me--I haven't even opened it, yet.

[.kiki.]

`Ainslie;
Silence? Oh joy.

I just wanted him to talk to me. Now I felt awful. My brain hurt. In fact, everything hurt. I watched him and wiped the tears away. I sighed audibly for the first time all day. "I'm sorry. I'm not making this easy." My voice was almost silent. It was a nervous addition. I didn't want him to leave. I wanted him to be my friend. I didn't have any. He made me talk after all of those years. My heart had started pounding in my brain again. I reached for his hand, but pulled back, not taking it.

[;Griffen;]

Alec;
You really aren't...

I saw her hand inch forward, but she pulled it back. I raised an eyebrow at her. What was she going to do? Whatever it was, she thought better of it and left it alone. I shook my head and ran my hands through it to make it look better. Well, I don't know how it looks. I needed a haircut. My bangs were already down farther than my chin. The lower cheek is good enough for me.

"Don't worry about it. I'm probably not making anything easier, either." I chuckled, smiling a little. Suddenly, I felt very hot. It didn't help I was hearing a long-sleeved black shirt. Well, it's almost never hot in the institute. At least, to me. I'm always freezing. Maybe it was irritation I was feeling... Or the nervousness.

[.kiki.]

`Ainslie;
Don't disappear.

I started to chew on my lips some. My head hurt. I needed an Advil. I raised a hand to my forehead in an attempt to try and will it away. "I don't feel well." I wasn't sure why I was telling him. It was just something to say. We didn't have anything better to talk about. I stood up. "I'm gonna change, and then I'll come right back. Dont...don't leave, okay?" I was so nervous he'd disappear that I sprinted to the locker room to throw on my casual clothes.

[;Griffen;]

Alec;
What makes you think I'll leave?

I sat where I was, silently waiting for her to return. What made her think I would leave her?Maybe she was just nervous. I didn't have a clue, really. I rolled my sleeves up, falling backwards and hitting the ground so I was lying down. I let out a yawn and closed my eyes. I didn't care if the floor was dirty--I'm a guy. We don't think--we do.

[.kiki.]

`Ainslie;

I threw my expensive skirt into the trash and went out in wearing the bottom of my uniform. I don't know why I didn't want him to know I had money. Maybe it was the orphan thing. It was beyond me. But I felt bad; he had told me his secret. Why couldn't I tell him mine?

When I walked out he was laying back on the floor. It made me smile and I walked over slowly, laying down next to him on my stomach. The floor of the gym was disgusting, but I didn't care. It was a way to talk to him longer before I disappeared to my dorm like I always did on weekends. I moved a piece of his hair out of the way. "This floor is really nasty." I'm sure he knew that already.