It's So Bright Today ; CLOSED - Ainslie ;

[;Griffen;]

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Alec ;
I'm so lost without you.
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Last night was like a horror film. Or, yesterday was. I mean, the day before yesterday, I met this girl, Ainslie on the floor. And I mean, on the floor--seriously, she had fainted for reasons she hasn't explained yet... Anyway, we became best friends, but when we went to eat our food, I wanted to tell her a secret. A secret I normally try to hide--I'm an orphan. Yeah, I know, it seems silly to say, but it's true. I had literally maimed my lip so I had to go to the bathroom to stop the bleeding. I came back to the table and I finally told her... Then she kissed me on the cheek and left. The next day, I found out she was pretty much avoiding me. I found her in the gym, running around and let me tell you, it's nice watching her run with her hair flowing all over the place. She's just a pretty girl and I'm and idiot boy. That's normally the pairings. So, I bring the notepad, tell her I'm sorry and that I beg for forgiveness. She didn't exactly give it... She told me it wasn't my fault, that it was hers. Well, I ended up lying on the floor while she got dressed and then we winded up at the wall. That's where she asked me out.

Okay, I don't know what happened there. Pause the scene, please. Her face is passive, emotionless, a trait that has escaped me since yesterday in this scene. It doesn't help the fact that I've talked to her. So she's sitting there and I'm looking at her, dumbfounded. I really should have said yes off the bat. I really do like her, I just don't want to admit it yet... I really, really, don't--and it doesn't help that she doesn't like to be touched. How are we going to get over that? How can you be girlfriend and boyfriend when the girlfriend doesn't want to be touched and has terrible mood swings? I don't know, but this greatly reminds me of Marie and Bobby from X-Men... I say sure like a question and then she gets angry at me. I said yes, didn't I? Sometimes I wonder why I even bother with girls. They are so... fragile. One little things makes the balanced blade tip over and then everything shatters. I honestly hate it, but I don't hate her. I finally say yes, but she didn't seem all too excited. However, we did hold hands. Yes, we held hands--seems like a step back, huh?

So I ask her what her classes are and she says hers and then I say mine. I tell her I play a guitar and she asked me, "Really?" I then got my guitar out and played for her. The next song just required an amp, but she unplugged me. I'm a guy, I don't like it when a girl messes up something. I mean, it's like a girl beating up a guy... I'm not prejudice about that, it's just... I don't really like it when it's happening to me. Now I get a little angry and finally she gives up and tries to leave. Just because I get angry doesn't mean you have to leave! I could feel her depression and I could hear the tears coming. Jeez, I'm never one for waterfalls. The one girl I feel attracted to and she's the one prone to waterfalls, mood swings, and terrible headaches--God, save me please.... I tried to stop her, putting my hand on her arm, like they do in all the movies. You think she's going to turn around and everything will be dandy? Heck no. She has to be difficult and jerks her arm away from me. Now I really regret saying yes. However, I sort of don't. I like her, but I don't like the way she acts sometimes... Does that even make sense? Anyway, she left and I walked to my dorm, to my bed to look at the notebook she had left... Not much in there, really.

So one day ends and another day starts. Today was a school day, and I had forgotten I had homework due. Who cares? I told them I had a mental breakdown on Friday night and now they gave me some pills to take. I am not taking these pills, thank you very much. I ended up throwing them away. Classes took forever. I didn't really pay attention if Ainslie was in my classes or not, because I have the general feeling she's avoiding me--again. Lunch came around and I just sat at my table, alone, like always. I don't exactly like change all that much--it makes me fell awkward. I walked back to class and the first thing my teacher did was ask me the answer to the math question on the board. I did my regular routine--I looked behind me and raised an eyebrow at the teacher. They'd had enough of me not speaking and made me step out of the class. They started speaking and I really didn't pay attention. I just crossed my arms and looked boredly at the teacher.

Finally classes ended. I just walked to my dorm to dump all of the new homework onto my bed and left the room. Ainslie and I were supposed to go outside today after class, but I didn't know if she'd come, or not. I mostly hoped she would, because I'd enjoy her company, even if she was going to go nut-so again. I had to wipe off my eyeliner before I went outside because Ainslie apparently doesn't like it all too much. You know, I've done so many things for that woman, in two days, and she hasn't done much for me... At least, I don't think... I had the notebook and pen in my hand. I refused to talk today because I was still angry from last night. I really didn't want it to show in my voice. I walked outside only to wince. The sun was exceptionally bright today and it temporarily blinded me. You know how I'm normally cold? Well, I'm not now. I felt so warm. The sun cheered me up somehow and I found a nice tree that had shade under it. I sat next to it and put my back against it, sighing. Now all I'd have to do is wait... Wait for Ainslie to come...

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tagged ; Ainslie, Alec, outside, madness, romance.
word count ; one zero eight eight.
credit ; Me, Mess With Me and Silent Creek.
template ; Made by me, with help from Mess With Me and Silent Creek.
notes ; Alec seems different in this post. :/
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[.kiki.]

`A I N S L I E;
now we G R I E V E cause now is gone
things were good when we were Y O U N G

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

My brain still hurt from last night's 'fight' with Alec, if you could call it a fight. I felt bad. I really did. He didn't deserve that type of treatment. He was a really nice guy! I liked spending my time with him, but I still wasn't comfortable. I rushed things. I didn't mean to, but I did. My brain focused on that through all of my classes. I didn't pay attention. I noticed him in a few of my classes, but I didn't talk to him. It seemed the best course, since he didn't really want to talk to me either. I don't think he noticed me, which stung a little. He was the one who wanted to know what my classes were, and now he was ignoring me. Was I diseased? I didn't think I was.

I sighed, walking back to my dorm after class. I wanted some fresh air, and we had said we would spend time outside today. I didn't want to look like a student at the institute, even though we knew we were. I wanted to look nice if I was going to see him. I almost didn't want to go. My stomach churned, but I managed to pull on my light blue sweater, pulling it down over the top of my uniform skirt. My mother used to tell me that blue looked nice with my hair, and it stuck. I always wore blue when I wanted to look nice. I could feel my heart beating in my head, pounding hard. It was ridiculous. I was so scared to see him. What if he was mad at me? I didn't want to think he was.

I made my way towards the grounds, my shoes clicking quietly on the floor. The sun nearly blinded me when I stepped outside, which made it hard to see Alec. But there he was. Notebook in hand. The notebook. He wasn't planning on talking today. My heart sunk into my stomach and I made my way over. "Hi, Alec." I was nervous. You could tell from my voice. I wished I was a turtle. I didn't want to be there when he was going to be angry.

tag.board; Alec
word.count; 403
side.notes; Not a very good post, but whatever. He does seem a little different...that's okay. I like your template, btw. Very smexeh.
muse.me; 4/10
lyricism; Von Bondies - C'mon C'mon
credit; This was made by moi!. Don't use.

[;Griffen;]

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Alec ;
I'm so lost without you.
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I had sat here for a while, aimlessly doodling on the notepad. I had no clue what I was doing because I was thinking of outcomes. If Ainslie didn't come, I'd have to think of something. If Ainslie did come, I'd have to think of something. It was so confusing, but I still indulged myself in it. I thrive on confusion. I use that to manipulate people. I put the pen to my mouth and clamped my teeth on it for a moment. It was my pen. I do it all the time... It helps me think. I pushed my back against the tree to get into a more comfortable position and looked up at the leaves. I hadn't seen plant life in a while, now. I had forgotten how it looked so green. I got lost in my thoughts and I almost missed the "Hi, Alec," that was obviously directed to me.

I lifted my head up to see the pretty girl from last night. Ainslie. I wanted to smile, but I didn't. I tried to make my face passive, but not too passive... I didn't want her to assume I was angry at her. I mean, I am, but I don't want her to know that. I felt the nervousness rolling off of her and I took the pen from my mouth and scribbled something on the notepad. I put a large slash on the doodle, which had been a heart with an arrow through it. Brilliant, Alec. I thought to myself. She's going to see that. I drew an arrow to that and wrote, Just a doodle. I looked at the notepad for a while and turned it around, for Ainslie to see. One word practically took up the whole page.

Hallo.

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tagged ; Ainslie, Alec, outside, madness, romance.
word count ; Three oh three (Boooo)
credit ; Me, Mess With Me and Silent Creek.
template ; Made by me, with help from Mess With Me and Silent Creek.
notes ; It's short! And thanks. Yours ish smexeh, too. :]
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[.kiki.]

`A I N S L I E;
now we G R I E V E cause now is gone
things were good when we were Y O U N G

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

My eyes flickered over the doodles, focusing on the large hello that was fixed on the page. I studied his face. It looked like he was trying not to smile. That didn't make me any less uncomfortable. I knew something was wrong.

I sat by him, nodding and taking the notebook and pen. I didn't want to talk. I felt sick. Did you sleep well? My handwriting was sloppy. It was almost impossible to read, but I couldn't help it. I was upset, and worried. I didn't want him to turn me away. I knew I had reacted badly. I wasn't stupid. I just...couldn't help it. It was overwhelming. I was still moving too fast.

tag.board; Alec
word.count; 129 (super gross)
side.notes; Still not a very good post...><
muse.me; 2/10
lyricism; Von Bondies - C'mon C'mon
credit; This was made by moi!. Don't use.

[;Griffen;]

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Alec ;
I'm so lost without you.
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I looked at her while she was looking at the notepad. I blinked silently, but it sort of hurt. I didn't want to leave her. It looked like she needed me as much as I needed her. I needed a friend and someone to be there with me. If I ever got out of this place, Ainslie better be by my side. She sat next to me, nodding and taking the notepad. She wrote on it and gave it to me. It took a while to translate what she said, but I got the message. She asked if I slept well. I was about to answer yes, but what was the point in lying? I looked at the notepad, the pen's point on the paper, ink spotting the page. "Not really, no. Been thinking if you were alright." I gave it to her, setting the pen in the grass. I gave her a small smile and looked forward. Why did I just write that?

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tagged ; Ainslie, Alec, outside, madness, romance.
word count ; one six six.
credit ; Me, Mess With Me and Silent Creek.
template ; Made by me, with help from Mess With Me and Silent Creek.
notes ; It's short. DD:
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[.kiki.]

`A I N S L I E;
now we G R I E V E cause now is gone
things were good when we were Y O U N G

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

A smile passed my lips when I caught his, and it got bigger when I read the paper. I hoped this meant he was in a better mood than when I came out. I scribbled back. I was fine. I'm sorry you didn't get any sleep, Alec. I didn't sleep very well either. I passed it back, leaning over to give him a kiss on the cheek. Maybe the day wouldn't go so bad today since we were out in the fresh air. I hoped it would.

tag.board; Alec
word.count; 96........OMG. -facepalm-
side.notes; That was crap! I'm sorry!
muse.me; 2/10
lyricism; Von Bondies - C'mon C'mon
credit; This was made by moi!. Don't use.

[;Griffen;]

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Alec ;
I'm so lost without you.
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I saw her smile and I saw her scribble something. I looked forward, about to close my eyes and relax for a moment when I felt something press itself against my cheek. I opened my eyes and looked at her, startled. I could never get used to that. It didn't help she did it at complete random times. My face turned red, my eyes wide. What if I kissed her? She'd probably freak out and run away. I blinked and felt the notepad on my leg. I was debating whether I should take this chance or not. I sucked in a breath and looked down at the notepad, reading what she had written. I found a way to translate her handwriting, even if I had to guess some of the words. Nah, it's okay. I don't need sleep to function. I paused for a moment and gave her a notepad. I wrapped my arms around her and gave her an encouraging squeeze and then removed my arms.

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tagged ; Ainslie, Alec, outside, madness, romance.
word count ; one seven one.
credit ; Me, Mess With Me and Silent Creek.
template ; Made by me, with help from Mess With Me and Silent Creek.
notes ; It's short. DD: No, it's okay, haha.
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[.kiki.]

`A I N S L I E;
now we G R I E V E cause now is gone
things were good when we were Y O U N G

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

I knew I caught him off guard when I kissed him. It was kind of funny, really, and I always had to hold back a laugh when his face went red. I read the notebook silently, surprised when he hugged me. I enjoyed it, but I didn't reciprocate. I didn't want to push things along faster than they should go. That's what I had decided last night. I was going to slam the breaks on, instead of jumping the gun. Why ruin my first relationship? It wasn't worth it.

I took the pen, scratching out a drawing. It was a very angular heart; I couldn't make myself draw hearts with curves. I didn't know why. It just didn't work. Next to it, I wrote something. I'm glad you're not too tired to spend time with me. I might as well tell him how much I appreciate him being around.

tag.board; Alec
word.count; 162
side.notes; Getting better~
muse.me; 4/10
lyricism; Von Bondies - C'mon C'mon
credit; This was made by moi!. Don't use.

[;Griffen;]

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Alec ;
I'm so lost without you.
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I blinked, my face turning back to its pale color. I let out a sigh and moved a little closer so our shoulders were brushing. I didn't know if we were still girl friend and boy friend, or not. I sort of hoped we were. Ainslie was a very confusing girl, but I had to love her. She was just so amazing. I took the notepad and smirked at it. I'd come to spend time with you if I was on my deathbed. Not that I am, though. I gave her the notebook and looked up. Leaves were on the trees and little patches of sunlight made its way through the cracks and crevices in the leaves. I closed my eyes so they were half way open. I relaxed my muscles and let my legs straighten out and I snaked my right arm into Ainslie's hand.

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tagged ; Ainslie, Alec, outside, madness, romance.
word count ; one four eight.
credit ; Me, Mess With Me and Silent Creek.
template ; Made by me, with help from Mess With Me and Silent Creek.
notes ; Hehe.
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[.kiki.]

`A I N S L I E;
now we G R I E V E cause now is gone
things were good when we were Y O U N G

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

I let out a small laugh. It sounded so out of place in the silence that we had set around us. He was amusing. I liked that quality. I wouldn't let you, Alec. I'd have to go spend time with you. I felt his hand in mine and I knew I went a little pink at the nose, but I let it pass and relaxed, leaning against him comfortably. I started to doodle on the notepad, not caring that it was our main way of communication at the moment. I was enjoying the quiet. I looked up, studying the sky and smiling some. "It's nice out." My voice killed as I spoke those three words. I hadn't said much for the last few hours and it was definitely taking its toll on me. I exhaled, turning slightly so I could rest my head on Alec's shoulder.

tag.board; Alec
word.count; 158
side.notes; <3
muse.me; 4/10
lyricism; Von Bondies - C'mon C'mon
credit; This was made by moi!. Don't use.

[;Griffen;]

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Alec ;
I'm so lost without you.
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She had wrote something, but I didn't even care to look. I blinked, fighting to keep my eyes open. I felt her press closer to me and then I felt something on my shoulder. I smelled something sweet, like shampoo and instantly noticed her head was on my shoulder. I fought back a yawn and then Ainslie talked. I didn't feel like talking, but she had the notepad. I enjoyed listening to the birds chirp and hear the wind howl as it blew. I kept my eyes closed, wrapping my right arm around her waist and pressing my lips in her sweet-smelling hair. "It definitely is." I whispered softly. I wasn't sure if she was okay with this, but at this moment, I didn't care. This was a moment where you just couldn't ruin it.

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tagged ; Ainslie, Alec, outside, madness, romance.
word count ; one four zero.
credit ; Me, Mess With Me and Silent Creek.
template ; Made by me, with help from Mess With Me and Silent Creek.
notes ; Hehe.
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[.kiki.]

`A I N S L I E;
now we G R I E V E cause now is gone
things were good when we were Y O U N G

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

My heart jumped into my throat at the contact, but I tried to relax some. I wasn't going to ruin something, and he might get upset if I overreacted. It was just a little physical contact. It wasn't anything to get upset about, especially if I wanted the frankenstein relationship to work out between the two of us. I wasn't sure what to do next, so I went quiet and just sat there, trying not to panic. This was a step in a good direction. I think... I had trouble reassuring myself that it was alright. My mind turned to other things, attempting to relax more, but all that came to my mind was Alec and it failed to help.

tag.board; Alec
side.notes; I'm too lazy to get out my word count.
muse.me; 4/10
lyricism; Von Bondies - C'mon C'mon
credit; This was made by moi!. Don't use.

[;Griffen;]

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Alec ;
I'm so lost without you.
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I could feel my whole system start to shut down on me. She was right there, and everything was alright. Everything would be alright. She had accepted the contact and wasn't scared about it. Bah, I wish! I could feel the emotions rolling off of her. I could feel them shift through me as if I were a filing cabinet. I frowned greatly in her hair, but I made my face emotionless as I pulled away from her. Sure, I was disappointed, but there's no point in making Ainslie uncomfortable. I looked forward. I took her head on my shoulder as a sign. A sign that said we could get over what happened. It also said she wanted comfort. Either that or she was tired... I didn't know! I can't read minds, thank you. I looked down at my knees, my hair shifting and covering my eye. I had cut it last night. It was shorter, now. I sort of wished she'd be happy about me not wearing any eyeliner, but she probably didn't care. I grabbed the notebook lightly and the pen, scribbling something. Sorry. I wanted to draw something, but I handed it to her before anything else.

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tagged ; Ainslie, Alec, outside, madness, romance.
word count ; two oh two.
credit ; Me, Mess With Me and Silent Creek.
template ; Made by me, with help from Mess With Me and Silent Creek.
notes ; Hehe.
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[.kiki.]

`A I N S L I E;
now we G R I E V E cause now is gone
things were good when we were Y O U N G

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

I felt him shift and move next to me and I sat up, pushing my hair back. I didn't look over, still admiring the scenery, until I felt the notebook. I had been listening to the sounds of the pen, so I knew he had been writing. I turned my head to look at it and confusion washed over me. He was sorry? Why was he sorry? I took the pen and scribbled my question to him. Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything? I was wicked worried that this might be a bad thing. Was I giving him bad signals or something? I thought I had been pretty calm.

tag.board; Alec
side.notes; <3
muse.me; 4/10
lyricism; Von Bondies - C'mon C'mon
credit; This was made by moi!. Don't use.

[;Griffen;]

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Alec ;
I'm so lost without you.
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I half closed my eyes, feeling the notepad on my leg. I reopened them and looked at the paper. I felt like frowning. Couldn't she just accept it and get on with her life? I could feel the irritation course through me, but I kept calm. Last thing I need is Ainslie yelling at me again. The thought almost made me shudder. I closed my eyes, refraining from putting my hand to my head and sighing. I don't have a headache, but it's getting there. I flipped the page, pen in my left hand. I opened my eyes and began to write. But, this time it was in cursive. Normally, when I have a huge emotion rolling through me, I write in cursive. It just keeps me from going over the top. For the contact. You were fighting to stay calm. I don't want that when I kiss hug you. I cursed mentally at the kiss part. I scribbled that out immediately and kept going. So... I'm sorry. I pushed the notepad to her, looking at her. What wouldn't I give to hug her tightly right now.

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tagged ; Ainslie, Alec, outside, madness, romance.
word count ; one nine three.
credit ; Me, Mess With Me and Silent Creek.
template ; Made by me, with help from Mess With Me and Silent Creek.
notes ; Hehe.
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